Tag Archives: same-sex marriage

Spring is Still Coming

01 Wednesday May 2019

Posted by in Justice, LGBTQ, pastoral integrity, Reflections

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California super bloom 2019 (Photo credit: Amy Aitken)

“They can cut all the flowers, but they cannot stop spring from coming.”
~ Pablo Neruda

Poets tend to tell the truth more than others. It is the poet’s intent to dig up the soil of our collective unconscious and expose what we all know to be true. Prophets do this work too. Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel once said, “I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

Growing up in the Midwest I think I learned neutrality and silence quite well. It was important not to butt into other peoples’ business, and not to confront anyone. Then I went to seminary to learn to be a pastor and trained in counseling and conflict resolution skills in order to become an active listener and a non-anxious presence in the churches I would serve. These are good and useful skills, but not in every situation. Sometimes, as Jesus himself demonstrated, it’s necessary to turn some tables over and get peoples’ attention!

The Special Called General Conference held in February dealt a serious blow to progressive and centrist United Methodists who believe that God works through many expressions of faithfulness. Traditionalists won the day with their plan to reinforce the bans on ordaining openly gay persons to pastoral ministry and marrying same-sex couples. It seems that traditionalists are unable to get beyond their certainty that human sexuality is a gift from God only for straight people.

So here we are at this moment of truth! For many, the United Methodist Church – as wonderful of a witness as it has been in the world for global missions, humanitarian relief, and a merging of personal and social holiness – is no longer able to hold together the vast differences embodied in a worldwide church. Systemic change will be required, and this will likely mean an entirely new expression of inclusive Methodism able to welcome and accept the richness of humanity in its life and ministry.

The Judicial Council rulings last week were not unexpected. They found parts of the Traditional Plan to be constitutional (per the Book of Discipline) and parts to be unconstitutional. There were few surprises, but what remained when all was said and done, was the pain of betrayal and exclusion. Betrayal, because if you baptize a child and claim her as a child of God and then later tell her that she is living outside God’s will because of her sexual orientation, you are betraying her. Exclusion, because by trying to have it both ways – saying you welcome someone but only if he gives up his God-given gender identity – you are excluding him. This is where we are. This is the truth!

Eight young people were recently to be confirmed at First United Methodist Church of Omaha, Nebraska. These youth love their local church and its expressions of inclusion. But they collectively chose not to join the United Methodist Church until they see how their church responds to the denomination’s unjust and immoral policies on LGBTQ+ clergy and same sex marriage. They powerfully state: “We are not standing just for ourselves, we are standing for every single member of the LGBTQ+ community who is hurting right now. Because we were raised in this church, we believe that if we all stand together as a whole, we can make a difference.” They are choosing to take sides, to not remain neutral or silent! Spring is coming, and no one can stop it!

In Springtime Hope,
Mark

Words by Mark Lloyd Richardson (C) 2019

The Way Forward

20 Friday May 2016

Posted by in Justice, LGBTQ, Reflections

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Oregon Convention Center (two towers) where General Conference 2016 was held

The Way Forward proposed by the Council of Bishops at General Conference potentially provides a way to deepen the dialogue within the United Methodist Church on matters of human sexuality. It also gives us some breathing room to see how diversity can actually contribute to unity, rather than trying to force unity (perhaps I should say uniformity) through institutional pleading and legislative action.

As an LGBTQ ally and advocate for an inclusive church I am grateful for the leadership of the bishops in inviting respectful conversation that reflects the wideness of God’s mercy. However, I am also saddened and angry that justice is once again being delayed for many of my sisters and brothers in Christ by the harmful language that will remain in the Book of Discipline for at least two or three more years, and very possibly longer. In the meantime, many more gifted leaders will give up on serving in a church that does not accept them as the beloved children of God they are. In the meantime, many more young people will look elsewhere for open and affirming faith communities where they do not have to wonder if friends or family members will be accepted. In the meantime, many more loving and committed couples will be turned away from the ministries of a church that does not honor their love or value their witness. In the meantime, many more clergy will be forced to risk their livelihood and their future within a church they dearly love because the calling God has nurtured within their lives will not allow them to do otherwise.

So while I applaud the thoughtful leadership of our bishops and will pray and work to support a rethinking of the church’s stance on human sexuality through the special commission to be established, I am mindful of the deep pain and mistrust that many will continue to experience as a result of this outcome. Even though every paragraph in our Book of Discipline regarding human sexuality will be examined by the commission and a special session of General Conference could be called in 2018 or 2019 to act upon the commission’s recommendations, we cannot predict how these processes will play out and whether they will create more just and grace-filled church structures and laws. What we do know is that we need to pray earnestly and work expectantly for the future God has in mind for the people called United Methodist, a future shaped by the justice and mercy at the core of the Gospel.

Words (c) 2016 Mark Lloyd Richardson

It’s Time

17 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by in Justice, LGBTQ, Reflections

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It’s hard to know where to begin as I reflect on my two days spent in our church’s quadrennial meeting known as General Conference. I continue to believe in the incredible gifts our church has been given to offer the world. We are truly a church of social witness from the time John Wesley first took to the streets to announce the good news of Christ to the poor. We have a vast humanitarian reach throughout the world that brings hope and healing to many lives. We are a people who use our feet and hands to move into a hurting world with peace in the name of Christ. We have so much to offer, which makes our persistent wrestling with sexual matters all the more troubling.

Yet there is much pain in the midst of our ecclesial body. There are children of God who feel invisible when others refer to them as an “issue” because of their sexuality. There are children of God who are forced to be secretive about their sexual orientation knowing they may be judged ineligible to be in ministry. There are children of God who know they will not receive the ministry of the church when they commit themselves to one another in marriage. There are children of God who are being silenced and pushed aside by a church that will not recognize their giftedness and beauty as people of sacred worth. The pain is magnified because it is caused by the very church that has nurtured them in faith and trust in God.

It’s time that the church stop harming those who are beloved of God. It’s time to allow ministers and churches to honor and bless the marriages of two persons of the same sex. It’s time to recognize the gift and graces of ministry candidates who identify as LGBTQI and not disqualify them from serving the church solely on the basis of their sexual orientation. It’s time to recognize that the discriminatory language related to sexuality in the Book of Discipline reflects heterosexuality and homophobia and needs to be removed. It’s time to stop acting from fear, misunderstanding, and intolerance. It’s time to reclaim our heritage as a church grounded in Christ’s grace! It’s time to let love overwhelm hate. It’s time to breathe in the Spirit of the Christ who welcomed persons into the presence of God without conditions.

It’s time!

Words (c) 2016 Mark Lloyd Richardson

Biblical Obedience to an Inclusive God

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by in Peace with justice, Reflections

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gay-marriage-hands-and-rings

Bishop Debra Wallace-Padgett, resident bishop of the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church, issued a press release yesterday that reads in part:

“A retired United Methodist bishop notified me that he plans to travel to North Alabama, the area for which I am responsible, with the intention of breaking church law. He plans in late October to officiate at the celebration of a ceremony of a same-sex couple who were recently married in Washington, D.C. Though the couple are members of a United Methodist Church in the North Alabama Conference, the celebration will not take place in a United Methodist Church. I urged the retired bishop to reconsider as his officiating at this ceremony would be in violation of United Methodist Church law. I am also concerned that it would encourage the public to only define The United Methodist Church in North Alabama by one matter and not by the rich range of ministries of North Alabama local churches such as feeding the hungry, ministry with the poor, offering hope for those in addiction, sharing the gospel with our neighbors and welcoming all people to worship together and celebrate the sacrament of holy communion….

“Our culture is divided around our understandings of relationships between same sex partners. Likewise there is much debate, pain and struggle among faithful Christians about interpretations of biblical teaching on same-sex relationships. Our United Methodist 2012 Book of Discipline affirms that all persons are of sacred worth and that God’s grace is available to all. Every person is welcome in our churches. The Discipline of our denomination also states that we consider the practice of homosexuality as incompatible with Christian teaching. Our ministers are not permitted to conduct ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions or perform same sex wedding ceremonies.

“As a bishop of the United Methodist Church, I took a vow to abide by and uphold the Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church. I am also committed to continuing to focus those I lead on our mission, which is broader than any one issue. The mission of the church is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. I appreciate prayers for all involved in this difficult and painful situation.”

 ♦♦♦♦

The bishop’s press release raises more questions for me than answers. She mentions several wonderful ministries of the local churches under her care, including feeding the hungry, ministry with the poor, and offering hope for those in addiction. If the denomination wrote into its rule book that local churches were no longer allowed to actively engage the hungry, the poor, or persons who suffer with addictions utilizing church ministries on church property, would she be okay with that since it is church law? Or might she challenge it as contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ?

Truth be told, there is a sizeable minority of United Methodist clergy and laypersons who have discerned a different biblical understanding of same-sex relationships and do not wish to have limits placed on our ministry with LGBT persons. We do not wish to say to LGBT persons that we are unable to celebrate with them their committed relationships because they violate church law. Since the denomination has not been of one mind on this matter for decades, a more charitable stance would be to allow faithful United Methodists to follow their conscience. This is what we do in relation to another controversial matter – war. Yet by narrow margins we again and again adopt unjust, uncompassionate rules of church law that exclude people in our midst from the acknowledgment that God accepts them as they are.

The bishop states that everyone is welcome in our churches. But what kind of welcome says to persons, “You are living in a way that is incompatible with what the church teaches?” Granted, in many of our churches, we have a time of confession in Sunday worship so as to acknowledge that we all live in ways that are incompatible with what the church teaches. We are all seduced by consumerism, militarism, and heterosexism. Yet we are still permitted to receive the church’s blessing of our marriages if we seek it. We are welcomed in spite of ourselves. Why would we offer only a conditional welcome to persons with a different sexual orientation?

Finally, it is true that the mission of the United Methodist Church is “broader than any one issue,” as the bishop suggests. However, this sentiment means very little in light of the matter of justice we are discussing. To refer to “the practice of homosexuality” as though it is uniform from person to person is as absurd as referring to “the practice of heterosexuality.” What does that even mean? Every heterosexual person on the face of the earth understands and practices his or her sexuality in an individual manner. Not only that, but society constructs gender identity and it is not simply a matter of being male or female. There is a continuum of gender identification on which we all exist.

There are so many questions surrounding this matter of same sex marriage, and yet the United Methodist Church is stuck in reverse, hoping to stem the tide of reason and new understanding by insisting that church law is the last word. Bishop Wallace-Padgett may be obliged to uphold the restrictive and oppressive language of the Book of Discipline on this matter, but the retired bishop she mentions, Bishop Melvin Talbert, is the one listening to the Spirit and attuned to the radically inclusive love revealed in Christ! The world needs more disciples willing to take risks that challenge the status quo and make transformation possible.

Words (c) 2013 Mark Lloyd Richardson

Let Us Claim this Day for Love

26 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by in Peace with justice, Reflections

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scotus-domaTwo historic and significant rulings came out of the United States Supreme Court today – one striking down key provisions in the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and giving legally married gay and lesbian couples a pathway to receive federal rights and benefits already enjoyed by straight couples, and the other one ruling that California’s Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in the state, could not be defended on appeal. It is a wonderful day for fairness and equality under the law! It is a day to celebrate that human rights must exist equally for all people regardless of sexual orientation! It is a day to acknowledge that marriage is at its core a covenantal relationship of love between two human beings!

Episcopal Bishop Steven Charleston writes of this historic day: “Let us claim this day for love. You and I, all of us who share in the witness of faith, let us stake our claim on the next twenty-four hours as a sacred space. Let it be a time of freedom. A time of peace. A time of healing for all people, without distinction, without restriction, a time set aside for those who need a place of safety in which they can recover, hope and be filled with the strength of dignity. Let us announce to the world: this is our time and these, all of these, are members of our beloved family.”

From a Christian point of view, I affirm the following:

1)    All of us are members of God’s beloved community;

2)    There is no distinction in God’s eyes between us;

3)    Each of us is free and empowered by God’s abundant grace to become the person we are intended to be;

4)    Each of us learns what it means to be fully human through the most trusting and intimate relationships we are able to fashion with another;

5)    Marriage is about love, and we love because God first loved us, not because we are so naturally good at it;

6)    Marriage is a covenantal relationship in which persons seek God’s blessing as they give themselves to one another for a lifetime;

7)    Marriage is about the deepening of love and commitment, not gender;

8)    It is far more important to the success of a marriage to have the qualities of integrity, honesty, compassion, forgiveness, humility, humor, and mutual respect, than it is to have one man and one woman.

There is so much more work to be done for equality and justice for all of God’s children, both in society and in the church. My own church, the United Methodist Church, is trailing behind other mainstream progressive denominations in this regard. I wish I did not have to say that – on the other hand, there are hopeful and courageous signs that we are becoming more inclusive and may eventually get it right. In the meantime though, “ecclesial disobedience” and “biblical obedience” will only increase. It is not possible for us to do otherwise!

More to come.

Words (c) 2013 Mark Lloyd Richardson

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