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dreamprayact

~ Reflections of a preacher, poet, and contemplative activist

dreamprayact

Tag Archives: bittersweet

Join the Dance

30 Friday Aug 2024

Posted by mark lloyd richardson in Reflections

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

bittersweet, change, creating, diversity, grief, growth, joy, loss

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” ~ John Maxwell

Change is a constant on this human journey.
Permanence can at times feel like an elusive dream. 

Change arrives in many forms …
… in the people we know
… in the places we have grown to love
… in our relationships with family and friends
… in our own health and well-being
… in cultural shifts and everchanging political winds
… in our evolving perspectives on all things that matter

I admit that I’ve often longed for a greater sense of permanence in my life.

I have moved at least thirty times in my life … sometimes across town and sometimes across the country. During my childhood, I attended five elementary schools in six years across three different states. I’ve lived for a period of time in nine different states. I’ve lived in small rural farming towns, in big cities, in suburbs, in the desert, in coastal communities, and in the Hawaiian Islands. 

My story is not necessarily unique, and I even believe that my experience of living in different places among diverse communities has broadened my awareness of the world and my place within it. In a certain respect, this diverse life experience has been a gift to me. Still, I sometimes envy those who have been in one place for years, even decades, and who reap the benefits of that longevity. 

There’s a family I know in Santa Barbara who’ve been in that community for generations. They have deep roots and an abundance of interpersonal connections. They have an abiding sense of belonging and attachment to a community they love. There are plenty of other families with similar stories.

Yet for me, in every place I’ve lived, I’ve eventually had to say goodbye. And there is always a palpable sense of loss in the letting go. 

Today I find myself at yet another life crossroads. I’ve met someone and she and I are envisioning a future with one another that has already begun beautifully to unfold. I am in the midst of selling my house in one community and moving to her community several hours north. And while I am committed to this new life adventure, there is a bittersweet note to it because of the people and the place I am leaving behind.

I don’t expect everyone to understand how I am feeling. I only know that my emotions have risen and fallen innumerable times over the past few years as I’ve dealt with the death of a spouse, the conclusion of forty years of active pastoral ministry, the new reality of being retired, moving to a community in another state where I knew two people upon arriving, and losing my mom soon thereafter. 

It’s felt like nothing but change for a while now. I’m ready to settle down and find a rhythm of life that enables me to continue in paths of learning and service, and in bringing joy and encouragement into others’ lives wherever I choose to invest my time. At the same time, I’m not naïve. I realize there’s plenty of change still ahead for me. 

So as I try to make sense out of all the change I am experiencing, I will take to heart the words of Alan Watts and simply “plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

Or as the great jazz trumpeter, Miles Davis, once said, “It’s not about standing still and becoming safe. If anybody wants to keep creating, they have to be about change.”

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